“Do You Even Care, Bro?” An Ode To How We Lead (And Can Lead Better)

Yikes… this title sounds super psych-y, doesn’t it?

Hang on!

Even before my education in psychology, I have been fascinated with how leaders treat and motivate their team. Every leader, coach, teacher, and anyone else in authority over others has a different style — some more technically and tactically-focused, some motivational, some unapproachable and demanding but successful, and the list goes on.

Photo from Pexels.

Most likely, if you’ve been to university, played a sport, had an internship, worked for a bad boss, or been in a significant leadership role after a loss, you’ve got experience with this.

While we can argue that one leadership style is not necessarily better than another, it is true that the style needs to match the situation and the team!

Adaptability is the name of the leadership game.

Thus, I present you with a cumulation of thoughts on leadership styles and how we can better our work:

1) DO YOU LEAD OR…?

• teach?
• demand?
• counsel?
• criticize?
• lead?

A leader should certainly have expectations; what kind of competitive work environment can we foster with no goals?

Setting goals is important, but it’s not the leader’s job alone to achieve them.

However, it’s also not solely the others’ job to achieve them.

This is a cumulative effort. A leader should empower others to do the work for themselves, instead of doing it for them or coddling them. At the same time, don’t stand them.

Don’t take them by the hand toward the goal. Expect high (reasonable) standards to be met, but give actionable steps to get there when people need guidance.

2) WHAT ENVIRONMENT DO YOU SET UP?

• Is it positive?
• Can you handle negative when it pops up?
• Is it motivational?
• Is it strictly ego-/achievement-driven?

It’s important to manage the atmosphere that you lead in.

If there are a bunch of egos running rampant in your team (your ego included), you can bet your next paycheck that the focus is not on the team’s goals — and thus, the process of achieving team goals together — and rather on soothing insecurity and proving territory.

That’s really not beneficial to a team.

Learn how to handle conflict when it arises, know how to appropriately (and not combatively) check egos — including yours — and shift the focus from achievement to building a team culture that benefits and includes everyone.

Set common goals, values, and standards. It will help the team to lead themselves, in part, and allow you to focus less on telling them what to do and more on getting the best out of each individual person, their unique skill set, and their experience.

3) CAN YOU TAKE THE HEAT?

Do you handle criticism well?

Or do you get defensive when approached?

People should feel like they can speak up if they need to, whether about their performance or with concerns or suggestions about yours.

Don’t get combative.

This actually means your team is invested enough to give a second thought to you, your structure, your plans, and your decisions.

Hear them out.

If you start getting heated, say “thanks for sharing that with me. I’ll get back to you/take it into consideration” in a non-condescending manner, and leave the situation.

If all goes well, respond calmly and thoughtfully (for most of us, this means “slowly and thinking before speaking”).

Maybe explain to the person your point of view, why your decision will still stand, or work on a compromise.

Regardless, foster the trust between yourself and that individual. Again, being questioned means that people care or are bought into this common goal and standard to some level. Don’t blow it.

4) DO YOU TAKE RESPONSIBILITY?

Are you accountable for your role in failures as well as successes?

Or do you blame dysfunction within the team? Do you blame external circumstances? Your competition? Do you blame the weather, the facility, the flooring, etc?

Do you take responsibility for the expectations that are on your people, or do they shoulder it all themselves?

Pro Tip: no one wants to work with a leader who throws them under the bus and walks away unscathed. Be accountable for your role in success, failures, and expectations.

The common goals, values, and standards apply to you too.

5) DO YOU CARE?

Okay, I’ve been told that this sounds rude to ask, but…

Do you actually care about your team?

Or do you just care about their results? Do you care about how it makes you look?

Do you foster their growth? Do you believe in them?

Do you give them the skills and tools that they can use in their lives as well?
_______________

Give yourself an audit on all of these things.

Regularly reevaluate why you are in a leadership position and how you lead.

Is it beneficial? Does it fit the situation? Does it help the team? Who wins?

If only you win, you need to change.

A good leader, in any situation, will make sure that no one on his or her team slides through the cracks.

Grow your Adaptability Muscle as much as you want to grow your biceps.

After all, it’s not your job to motivate your team.

It’s your job to motivate yourself and build a climate of learning and development. If you foster growth, there’s literally nowhere to go but “up” and (most likely) “win”.

I would love to hear any additional thoughts you leaders may have on this topic. Let’s develop great employees, innovators, students, athletes, and humans.

Thanks for reading! If you benefited from this article, please clap or share, so it can help someone else. I appreciate your feedback and responses more than you know! -Julia

For more on coaching, performance psychology, and the run-around of entrepreneurship in the sports industry, check out The Lion’s Mane Blog.

This story is published in The Startup, Medium’s largest entrepreneurship publication followed by + 378,907 people.

Subscribe to receive our top stories here.